Heroes -



First I would like to say that the first season of Heroes, is some of the best network TV I’ve seen. It promised to be a live action super hero show that wasn’t Smallville and it delivered. I’ll even admit that season two would have been great if the writers' strike hadn’t forced them to resolve everything in 22 episodes. I’m even so generous to say that the first half of season three was pretty good. It wasn’t perfect, the stories didn’t make complete sense. However it did offer Kristen Bell, super people beating the shit out of each other, Kristen Bell, villains that weren’t Sylar, and Kristen Bell. The second half of season three didn’t. It was this jarring rip off of Marvel’s “Civil War,” which is a topic for another time.. because I’m here to talk about the flaming bag of poo that is season four.

In season four we’re treated to sub plots that revolve around.. Clair’s adventures at a sorority..? Noah eating cereal for two thirds of an episode..? Hiro entertaining children in a hospital instead of becoming a long haired kick ass samurai that fights dinosaurs..? Peter’s exploits with a girl whose power is that of Disney’s Fantasia..? Some random dude who they allude is this seasons villain, who apparently has a power set that includes being within walking distance of a carnival no matter where he is, the power to use adobe photo shop with his mind, geokinesis, and.. the ability to make Sylar-Nathan wear incredibly ugly hats...




The only real exciting thing that has been happening this season, is Sylar is apparently inside Matt Parkman’s head. Which resulted in a crazy drinking contest. Remember kids, alcoholic beverages defeat evil!


Stargate Universe -


You know why I liked Stargate SG-1? It was essentially a modernized Star Trek, with mythological undertones, and a “landing party” that consisted of.. A character who resembles a far more intelligent version of myself. A character who has watched Star Wars 9 times, reads tabloids, wears cowboy hats, and could easily snap me in half. The token female character. and.. The guy who played MacGyver.

Stargate Atlantis was essentially a retooling of the show, that changed the characters just enough that they no longer resembled their counterparts (Which fortunately resulted a stronger female character.). With the added awesome factor of them fighting space vampires instead of symbiotes.


Stargate Universe is apparently a show about random actors being told to try and emulate Battlestar Galactica as much as possible, only without any androids trying to kill them. So like.. Nothing really happens. In fact, the second episode of this series involved people exploring a desert planet where nothing happened but a bunch of camera pan outs of sand.



Battlestar Galactica: The Plan -

The new Battlestar Galactica is a series I generally consider to be the “Watchmen” of science fiction programs. “The Plan” however, was about as interesting as watching my cat eat dog food.. Which doesn’t cost me $19.99 to watch.



Imagine a bunch of deleted scenes from Battlestar Galactica being tailored together with reused footage and some added scenes of graphic violence and random nudity. That will give you an idea of how exciting “The Plan” is. I bought this with the hopes of seeing Grace Park or Tricia Helfer nude... but the nudity was a few seconds of random women in a shower scene as well as a bartender? I would say it was interesting that they fleshed out one of the Cylons that got little screen time, but then he committed suicide out of range of a Resurrection Ship... So none of that really mattered. There was also a lovely scene where one of the Number One’s knives a child to death...


V -


The original V was intended to be a commentary on fascism uprising in America. It eventually got shifted to an allegory for Nazi Germany. The new V as so far been a thinly veiled fear mongering commentary on the Obama administration. Which I could tolerate if the pilot wasn’t so boring.. The scenes for the next episode looked exciting, but that’s probably a recipe for disappointment. The fact ABC is only airing the first four episodes and saving the rest of the season for after the Olympics shows a great bode of confidence as well.

I think what bothers me the most, is when the visitor’s don’t have different voices from humans. As well as adding the connotation that the V’s have been running around impersonating humans for years before first contact. They suddenly go from being creepy sexy aliens that eat live guinea pigs..



To being more like the aliens that Reed Richards managed convince were really cows...



Which later became, Skrull-Burgers, which is where I shall end, because all good journals should end with Skrull-Burgers.



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